A Billion and a Half!

...is really  a little over 400 Million! so you lose a Billion from the get go. Deceptive advertising appealing to our basic greed.  They say you should get an investment adviser, as if you need a lot of interest from this money, because, really, is $400,000,000 enough?  The chances of winning are slim, of course, but with my luck, I would have to share it with someone with the same numbers!  Then it becomes 2 hundred million, or, God forbid, split 4 ways to become a paltry Fifty Million!
I don't know about you but I would have to drive 50 miles to collect my check!  That works out to be about $500,000 per mile, talking closer to money I could, in theory at least, understand.
They say that if you win you have to move.  I don't like that idea at all.  Most Americans move every seven years but I have lived here for almost 50 years!  I would miss the house, the shop, the garden. At my age rebuilding it all somewhere else would mean hiring it all done and that is just never the same.  I have agreement with five or so people that if I win I will give them a Million Dollars.  In Cash.  In an old worn out suitcase with straps!  That would be a fun experience!  And, they would do the same for me if they win. I really hope they win!  A Million in a suitcase would be so much more fun than a Billion and a Half and all the headaches that would bring!