My first real date...

     Here is a topic we could talk about.  Do you remember your very first date?  I do, in bits and pieces anyway.  We met at a play, a series of skits actually, high school kids being serious.  I was in one of the skits
and that is pretty foggy to me except I remember very well the make-up I had to wear.  A huge mass of gelatin something to resemble a scar on my face, oh and a pillow under my coat, I was the "Hunchback of Notre Dame"!  I don't even know what she was doing there, maybe lighting or costumes.  She had long black hair and just a little make-up to highlight her eyes, make her look interesting.  I don't remember if there were tryouts or even if we actually put this play to work in front of an audience.  I would go back there the next day just to see if she were there.
    One night after practicing whatever it was we were doing, it was a hot summer night, I remember that, I asked her if she wanted to go to the University with me, just to walk.  Maybe get some coffee.  "I'll go in costume, we will advertise this play!"  I remember saying that.  It was not far; it wasn't a long walk.  I hobbled beside her, hunched over like I supposed a good hunchback would do.  People, students I am sure, passed us by and gave us plenty of room!  I am sure it was quite a scene:  a hunchback with a huge scar on his face and the most beautiful girl in the world.  Seemed like that to me anyway.
     We came upon a group of students entering a building for some lecture on something and we followed them in.  Sat in the back row, me hunched over and she like my caretaker.  It was a riot and I was playing the fool, drooling and making weird noises.  You could smoke in those days, anywhere, right in a classroom if you wanted.  I remember lighting a cigarette and first puffing a couple times, then putting it out in this mass of jelly on my face!  I know how to impress dates!  It was funny when we left.  Well, funny and I was damned well frightened.  She was walking about ten paces ahead of me and I was chasing after her when four college kids came to her rescue.  They surrounded me and it seemed they would be happy to beat me up!  I told them we were just joking, having fun.  I told them about the skits we were doing.  I was frightened and talking pretty fast, "please tell them you know me" I pleaded!  "I have never seen him before in my life."
That is exactly what she said.
   Our real "first date" wasn't for another week and I remember it well.  My dad had an MG, a little black convertible with red leather upholstery and he let me borrow it.  It was dirty and dusty on the outside and I parked it right on the front lawn, just drove it over the concrete driveway and into the grass.  She came over early that day and we were going to wash it.  I remember writing "Miss 1966" in the dust on the car's side.
That was the year and she was laying across the back of the car like a beauty queen on a parade route. Actually throwing kisses!
     We washed the car and later went to a little pizza place on the campus.  I remember distinctly talking about sex.  I couldn't have said much because I didn't know much about it.  I am sure I lied.  What I do remember is we finished eating and it was a hot summer night and the top was down and we decided to drive through the downtown section before heading home.  Kids do that, want to be seen with a cool girl in a cool car.  So we are downtown and she is sitting next to me, not in her seat with a seat belt on, but on a pillow, right next to me.  We are laughing and being silly and mostly, she is right next to me!
     Somehow and I really don't understand this, the conversation turned to other girls, she thinking I am interested in all girls in a generic sense.  I am denying this of course with all of my heart.  "Oh, yeah," she says, "what about THAT ONE!" pointing to my far left way over on the sidewalk.  Well, like an idiot I turned to look.  No one was there and I crashed into the car ahead of me.  My first date and my first traffic accident and I am trying to kill this girl I so wanted to fall in love with!!!   It was a tiny car and the whole front end of it was smashed.  I didn't even notice that.  She had blood all over her face!  Her head smashed into the rearview mirror!   The car was sort of drivable in a wobbly way and I raced to the hospital, actually going maybe 70mph.  In the city.  I parked the car in the front lawn of the hospital and carried her into the emergency room.  I was shaking!  The doctors took over (three stitches was all but it looked much worse)
and I had to call her dad!  Then I called my dad!  His car was a total wreck.  Her dad took her home. My dad took me home in a taxi and the wrecker took the little black MG to the wrecking yard and that was my first real date!  We are still friends and I hope she gets a laugh out of this.