Saturday, September 24, 2011

The Hardest Question?

No, it is not a math question, no chemistry nor economics and for sure, nothing political.  I remember years and years ago, an old girlfriend, young at the time startled me with the most dangerous of all questions!
   "How do you think of me?"  How do you answer that question without exposing your own weakness, your flaws and the broken lens with which we see?  How do you answer that question without showing vulnerability?  Without need?  With no points on a radar, the answer will expose your position.  I can find my identity in how I think of you.
   It occurs to me that we are different with different people.  Other's know me from different angles and look upon me with their own expectations.  The mailman anticipating that I will meet him halfway to my mail box.  He must know me from the mail that I receive, not much junk and sometimes letters from far away.
   I no longer look upon people with expectations.  I try not to pre-define them.  I do not look for expected behavior nor patterns; frankly, I have no interest in what they have done.
   I think I learned this as a school teacher a half century ago.  Before the first day of school we were allowed to look at a student's records, check for past behavior.  See how they were graded in the past.  We knew the trouble makers, the failing students, the one's from single parents, where they lived and how much school they missed.  They were marked before the first day of class.
   I always hated that.  I never looked at their records.  I preferred not knowing.  Then they had a chance.  Then I had a chance.
   How you look at me depends upon where you are.

THIS is my business side, with a little art thrown in.


Clipped Wings said...

I like this post. You sound like you were a very caring open minded teacher. I like that. I guess each time I read your posts I add a little more knowledge about you to my thoughts. I changed how I felt about you after I emailed you those few times. I'm always re-assessing my friendships, I guess, to gain a better understanding, to make the friendships more intimate.

stonepost said...

Thank you Clipped Wings! Changing our minds is the very best part of who we are!

Constance Stanza Extravaganza Extraordinaire said...

Just a sweet pussycat :-)

freebird said...

So very true!

AutumnLeaves said...

Kudos to you for giving those kids a chance, Jerry. That doesn't happen often enough. I've heard stories of kids who have had their lives turned around because of a teacher who believed in them when no one else would.