Monday, December 19, 2011

In Mourning

My computer is seriously ill and soon I will be pulling the cables and I wonder what will happen?  In a way
I am IN there.  The images I have caught on camera,  my paintings that only exist in the digital world, every piece of steel art photographed and documented, my personal thoughts, a hundred stories from my past, my entire battle with the demon Cancer, that train ride through hell, my very first steps into this computer world, my stumbles and falls and friends I have made along the way all reside in this computer.  It is a journal of my life, the only book I will ever write.  In so many gigabytes it knows who I am.
   Oh, I can "flash drive" her.  I know that.  Like memories of first kisses they get filed to the back into obscurity, lost and lied to and misremembered.  Something "alive" becomes a computer chip in a drawer.
 I am  IN this computer!
I am hesitant to pull the plug although my new computer is sitting right next to me, tempting, sleek, modern and fast.  Beautiful, clean and shiny and black.
   My old computer is demanding and I think there are one hundred and twelve wires connected to her.  She is fat and broad and takes up a lot of room on my desk.  She has grown slow and dull and old but she is a tough old bird.  I remember when I got her she was about five then and already middle aged for a computer.  She was a gift from my daughter and I had purchased her five years earlier when she went away to college.
She was the best available in her day, $2,500 more than I paid for my first brand new car!  After five years at school she was worn out, tired and out dated when she arrived into my messy shop.
I was always told that you had to be so very careful around a computer, always clean and spotless with no dust or dirt.  That is why I never had one in my shop.  It is pretty dirty here.  Steel dust and spilled coffee and paint everywhere.
 New Hot Lover!
   "It is worthless dad, you can't hurt it," my daughter said.  And so we began.  This computer has been a tough fine friend and has taught me "everything" I know and she knows things about me that no one else knows.
   I wonder about the Internet and Ethernet and cyber space.  I wonder whether each typed word, every image, my deepest thoughts will be retrievable.  Immortality that way, huh?  The real reason artists do what they do.
   My new computer is next to me with no wires nor cables, just mysterious rays that zap from my house to my shop, though walls and around the trees.  The neighbors might have these too.  Rays hitting rays, we are surrounded.
   She is sleek and hot and fast and I am a little afraid to touch her!
   If you want to take her for a spin, help me try her out, she has a new address.  I will at the end of this year pull the plugs from this computer and my new email will be:
It is a good address now because I can't let go.  I have two computers!  Jerry


Barbra Joan said...

FINALLY! go ahead Jerry, pull the plug . DO it ! You can keep her in a corner .. (I know your not going to throw her away... oh no., she will stay with you that's for sure. A dinasour in the corner.
Well I like the look of your new one. She does look sleek and will show you things you've not seen before.. You'll always have a soft spot for your first love, but congrats on your new one..really Jerry it was time... you'll like it.. BJ

stonepost said...

thanks for th encouragement, Brabra, more like a kick in the pants! I have started the Countdown! 12 more days to be "cord free" and then I will, yes, I will clean and paint my office! What in the world have I got myself into?

conservativelybohemian said...

Thanks for the new email address, Jer. Have fun with the new computer!