Thursday, June 16, 2011

Father's Day...

and a lot of other holidays were created to sell more greeting cards but it is a special day for me.  50% of American households are single parent, mostly headed by women and the father isn't there at all.  I couldn't imagine anything worse.  To have an unbreakable father-daughter bond is the most special gift I have ever received.  I wish I knew the recipe for this so I could share it with everyone but a lot of it just develops without a plan.
   I admit when my daughters were very, very young and we were alone I would sing to them but as they got older and winced at my voice while singing that pretty much stopped.  I did go to the dreaded soccer with them but I think they always knew I hated that.  I listened politely as they suffered, or mostly I suffered, their playing the piano or the violin.  They were horrible, probably inheriting their father's ear for music!
   Mostly what I was good at and shared with my daughters was talking.  I always treated them like real people and listened to what they had to say because it was important.  We didn't always agree on everything and they learned that that was okay.  I wanted them to stand up and be proud, to defend their position and not be fearful.  Confidence is a singular key in being successful in life.
   I did have expectations of my daughters. From the day they were born we talked often of going to the University.  What they were to study was up to them but going there was never a choice.  That dream alone controls a lot of behaviors and they did well in school.  I think we all live up to our expectations...or down to them.
  I have a million great memories of my children, growing up and falling down, getting up again, their childhood, youth and now young adulthood.  I am lucky, we are close and although this economy has driven them farther away we have a connection, unbreakable.  A father-daughter love.


Cheryl said...

StonePost it does seem to me that you could well write a book on 'Success.' You have achieved so much in your lifetime that we can all learn from you.
I am sure your daughters are as proud of you as you are of them.
I am thrilled to have the opportunity to get to know you through these pages.

rama said...

We all have memories of our children growing up, sometimes it is hard to believe that are grown ups now. In our eyes they would always be little kids, we would always be ready to give them all our support whenever they need it.
Happy Father's Day to you and Happy Parents day to you and your wife

AutumnLeaves said...

I so admire that connection, Jer. I also have two daughters and like you, I always spoke of them going to college. I even finished and got my degree when they were 'tweens' to show them just how important it was to their lives. Alas, neither of them went to school. Both took a couple of classes at junior college but that was it. Apparently, no matter how much I rhapsodized and how I impressed the importance of education and how much fun it really was, neither of them ever cared. Both are super intelligent but nevertheless, didn't have that drive or goal or dream. I think my youngest regrets some of her choices and I still hope that one day she'll finish. My oldest? I'd just love to see her develop and market her art. She is just an amazing artist with a unique style all her own. Be proud of yourself, Jer. You did an awesome job of parenting. Me? I did ok, but apparently some things my girls' decided that they need to learn the hard way.