Saturday, June 18, 2011

Now is the time...

It is all Now, we even look upon yesterday with filtered eyes and tomorrow is the only dream we have.
   My neighbor  got a new puppy, just nine weeks old, and it is the most amazing thing to watch this little dog.
Every weed is a flower of curiosity, every butterfly a color to chase.  It is learning to run on wobbly legs.  She pauses between pursuits with her tongue hanging out, ears up already, she will be a good dog.
   At some point we realize that there may be no gold at the end of the rainbow, leaving only small accomplishments on undisturbed snow.  I am reminded of my youth when I had places to go and the world was pretty big.  Every color new, each sound a type of music, all foods were desserts in a way.
   I seem to have a memory cast in stone, little iron ingots, islands of experience.  They come and go and I dismiss none of them, curious always as to why they would surface, bubbling like a stew in an unattended pot.  Eveyrthing I have ever failed at I failed because I quit.  Distraction.  Like the neighbor's dog, chasing the butterfly until I saw the ball or stopped to dig a hole.  Roll over, good dog.  She takes a nap and maybe forgets that she even is a dog?
   The truth is as we get older we just plain get tired.  When we wish to live to be a hundred years old we never mean long extended years in a nursing home.  What we really want is more years between twenty and forty where ambition and energy meet.
   Oh, I am still a goal setter, I still have things to do, but if I don't write them down I may forget them and I have a tendency to realize that deep down inside they were not very important anyway.  Memories today are written in oatmeal.
   Now is what we have, probably what we ever only had.
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5 comments:

Barbra Joan said...

Jerry, at some point in our blogging/emails I said.... 'yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not here, and what we have is memories and today.. Although I was like that in my younger days, (it was just the way I was made) lol! When I reached the age of 48 woke up one morning I had a 26 year old son.
Before that day ended he was gone from my life (physically) but not in my mind of course... A terrible accident while coming home from work, on his motorcycle ended that life in one moment.. No goodbye ,no anything but seeing him for a few moments unable to speak to him and I had a million things I wanted to say.
We are all different of course, but for me I knew even more so .. that TODAY is IT.. for me, reason enough..
You can make all the goals, set all the plans, put things into nice little slots, but for me it's today that I have, make someone happy, paint a painting, see a friend, write this comment.
It doesn't matter that one or even a hundred people could see my heart laid open, it is what I wanted to do.. right now ... right now is what mattered to me.. . BJ

AutumnLeaves said...

A touch of bittersweet and melancholy, Jerry, yet your words are directly scribed from my heart. I know exactly what you mean.

BJ, I send you big hugs. I know you will never stop reliving that day and I know you will never, ever stop loving and missing your son. I would bet he walks beside you every day. Much love to you, sweetie.

rama said...

Yes now is the time Jerry,yesterday has gone and about tomorrow nobody knows,today is the only thing we can be sure about, so let us not go to the past, or lose ourselves in the future, lest the present too soon slips away, to become the past.
We can be good and do everything to feel good in the present. Have a great fulfilling day Jerry!

Clipped Wings said...

What a reflective and somewhat sad post, but uplifting all at the same time. I sometimes feel like I have gone nowhere with my life, but in reality there are people who tell me otherwise. I think it is just that what I wanted to happen didn't, but lots happened anyway that wasn't planned, and my life has been anything but empty. I make my days count, as we never know how a day will end until we've lived it. Your words are like they are right out of my mouth. Take care.

sm said...

i think everyone tries to set the goals and forget it few times