Saturday, April 2, 2011

Television

I've got to quite reading the newspapers and maybe all my problems will go away?  Brian Roberts works really hard.  He is the CEO of Comcast Cable Television.  He made 31.1 Million Dollars last year, a fourteen percent jump over the year before.  They didn't even think to hire me. I would have done it for less,
maybe even a mere twenty million, depending on the benefits and all.  I mean I am not stupid, if I don't get the fortune I would want the fame.  I admit that I would have a lot to learn.  Who would even believe such a concept?
     I remember when television was free!  Well I only got three channels and now I get about a million! It would be tough to live now without the bowling channel and shopping network and I could never learn to cook without the kitchen programs.  What did we eat before Rachael Ray?
   I wonder what the salary was for the first CEO who came up with the clever idea to charge people to watch advertisements?  The guy was a genius!  and on these million channels that are now available to me they all have advertisements all at the same time!  I can flip through the stations without ever missing a commercial!  That's wonderful.
    I know the Mr. Roberts works hard for his 31.1 Million dollars but I wonder if it was his idea that an hour long program has been reduced to a mere 41 minutes?  That gives us 19 minutes of pure unadulterated joy,
catching up on the very latest in the world of consumerism. I don't want to miss anything!
   The future will bring us interactive television so we can actually order stuff on the spot while we are watching our favorite television program.  The guy who creates this will deserve a bonus!  Advertising is selective now, aimed at neighborhoods and even incomes.  That is right, my advertisements are not necessarily your advertisements!  How clever is that?  Yes, deserves a bonus I think.
    But if I were in charge I could think of some additional improvements.  Oh yes I would deserve a raise almost immediately!  For instance I would do away with the "off button" entirely!  That's right, no way to turn the damned thing off!  Think about it?  24 hours a day of advertising!  I would cut down on the actual programming time too.  Sixteen minutes would be enough for an hour long show. If you don't get what is going on in sixteen minutes you won't get it anyway.  We talk faster now and tweet, get things done quick.
Repetition seems to be how we learn so I would have the same advertisements shown over and over again!
Although I am sure they are already on to that. I think previews of advertisements would be a big hit. Instead of what the show will be about next week we could be lured in with a hint of commercials to come! I think they do this with the Superbowl already but I would do it all the time, every day, on every program.
     They are on the edge of combining computers with television and that will be such a relief.  My Google understands me and sends me advertising I need.  Don't believe me?  Try blogging about chocolate or cooking or dieting or vitamins, or even, god bless them, hot Russian babes and watch the Viagra ads appear!
Television should be like that.  I would want my "new and improved" television to come complete with its own camera!  I know that they know what programs I watch now and probably what comes in my mail,
but can you imagine the convenience of a television set that comes complete with its own camera? Finally the guess would be all out of this.  They would know what I need!  They could see in my living room and gear new furniture ads just to me!  It would be personal and intimate.  They could see what clothes I wear and recommend improvements!  And, God forbid, on occasion (not often) they could see me naked and offer diet programs just to improve me.  They would care, I know it!
     Oh yes, Brian Roberts I am after your job, be very careful.

7 comments:

AutumnLeaves said...

And now it is time for me to put my seething head back into the sand. Inglorious basterds indeed.

Constance Stanza Extravaganza Extraordinaire said...

31 million dollars is peanuts! Have a look at this!


http://www.usatoday.com/money/companies/management/2011-03-31-ceo-pay-chart-total.htm?sms_ss=facebook&at_xt=4d95f0ce3c5c9866,0

stonepost said...

Autumn Leaves I knew you had political opinions! I will fall in love with you too! It is not necessary for us to agree on every issue, but each issue will be decided by someone else if we do not discuss them amongst ourselves.
and Constance, my dear friend, I want a raise!!!

Clipped Wings said...

Interesting, as always!

PAMO said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
stonepost said...

Yes, Pamo, it took awhile but 1984 is here. "They" know every keystroke.

AutumnLeaves said...

Seething not at your opinion on this one, Jer. Seething at the freakin' injustices in our system...GAH!