Thursday, January 20, 2011

Banned from Facebook! Yes, really...

  I have been kicked out of the village, ostracized, left to wander on my own without support from family and friends. I don't even know why.  No one had the courage to face me or stare me down or point out my transgressions.
I was just "Blocked", just like that, as easy as the click of a mouse!  I am forbidden to post on my very own Wall.  I am first curious as to how they did this?  Truthfully, I don't really know much about facebook but I am looking forward to seeing the movie.  I joined it by accident a couple of years ago.  I think it was one of those situations where you can't get off the page. "Click Yes to continue or Cancel to stay on this page"  Yeah, right I speak American English and this meant nothing to me!  I once got so frustrated I unplugged the computer and it took me three days to figure out where all the wires were supposed to attach!
Anyway, I signed up and never knew I had so many friends!  It is a bit like that deep fear we all have about winning the lottery.  You know, friends and relatives that you have never met coming out of the woodwork?
Always I would get this message, someone knows someone who knows someone who knows you who wants to be your friend!  I'm thinking, gosh, maybe I do know them!  Maybe I went to school with them, or god forbid, maybe a lost lover and in some kind of madness I forgot her name?  How embarrassing! Another human being reaching out to me, for friendship even!  It would be rude to reject them.  So I would happily click away and I got more friends than I could count!  How cool is that?  I am very popular!
     Now, of course I am thinking someone Blocked me.  On my very own "Wall", that sacred place that was supposed to be mine!  Well, mine and my friends, that is where we hang out, right?  Is this a "Judas" thing?
Et tu Brute?  Have I been betrayed?  I do know secrets.  I admit I know secrets.  It is not necessary to torture me to find them. You don't need to water board me or break my fingers.  I am a marshmallow and can't stand pain.  I will tell you everything I know!  Maybe they know this about me and are preventing me from saying something?  If I only knew what I would make it a headline, spill my guts and get it over with.
But I wouldn't know where to begin. I know too many secrets!  What friend do I have that wants to quiet me?
    I wonder who else has been blocked by facebook?  Maybe we could start our own little community?
They have low standards anyway and I wonder what the heck I could have done to be lower than the lowest?  I get naked pictures from Susan who wants to be my special friend.  That's pretty flattering! She likes me!  She said she did.  And I get a bevy of "Hot Russian Babes"!  They are so pretty and they all want my phone number!  They want to be my friends!  And the friendly Viagra salesman is always friending me!
And offering me free samples in brown plain envelopes so the neighbor's won't know!  It is kind of him and certainly understanding except, maybe, my neighbors might be my friends also?  And I am rich beyond belief,
beyond my wildest dreams!  Yes, it's true and all because of facebook!  I have found lost relatives, in Nigeria of all places!  I never even knew that so long ago my dear sweet relatives were Christian Ministers (it must have been my mother's side of the family) and a King, a real King of Nigeria was so grateful for his salvation that he bequeathed his King's ransom, everything he had, to my long lost cousin!  I am not sure why they didn't track down my brother.  I get it all.  Oh, I am so grateful, I hate to be leaving facebook.
     But leave it I must.  Someone doesn't like me.  It could be my art.  I like to think that I am on the "cutting edge", really on to something, the next great best thing ever!  But I doubt it.  I have actually had other metal artists sneak around my studio to see what I am doing and how I might be doing it.  They find my work at galleries and shops around town and copy it.  If they would stop to say hello I would tell them everything, show them everything and teach them how to do it.  I have no secrets there.  At best you can copy what I did last week.  I don't even know what I will build next week. That is still deep in the recesses of my brain.
     It could be my cancer thing on my other blog?  I hate cancer and give it no respect, no energy, no preoccupation in my brain, nothing.  Maybe that is it?
     The point is I have discovered that it is not my facebook.  For some strange reason I thought it to be a friendly, not too serious site, where I might post what I ate for breakfast or how the weather is doing, and I admit when I blogged I would post that on my wall. Well, what I thought was my wall.  Now someone has blocked this; I can't do it any more.  So I quit.  My other, also banned Blog is Here.

13 comments:

Maundering mutterer said...

You must be a very dangerous man.. either that, or the site was having some or other problem and you'll be able to post on your wall again tomorrow. I had the devil's own time posting comments on blogger today - the comment windows didn't open so I changed from Chrome to Internet Explorer and at least that works!

stonepost said...

YES! that's me: dark, dangerous, mysterious! but I still quit!

Barbra Joan said...

oh, Jerry, you think you are so 'Special' HA! I don't even have a Facebook page and I'm special too!! , I remember signing something also, then when I saw the friend wants you to be a friend wants you to be another friends friend. That was far too much 'friend stuff' for me.
I get women,? men? and all sorts of people wanting my address, sell me 'stuff' wanting to send me money, if I send them money!! How does that work anyway? I have to send money to Nigerian banks to get money in mine? HMMM! and oh we won't go into the brown paper wrapper items. I'm a woman who should be taking Viagara??? and growing parts of my body that I never had ?? How does that work I ask you?
Oh, Facebook! no... just one more thing I don't need !!! thank you

Angel-Star said...

this is why tweetface and twitbook should be banned by us! they are energy suckers...argh. thanks for your beautiful comment. i love that you said "words are like color and paint chips..."

Constance Stanza Extravaganza Extraordinaire said...

Right Jerry, international terrorist with Nigerian, Russian and other unmentionable connections, I'm now officially part of your gang :-) I really will have to do the painting that has been inside my head for ages about Farcebook, maybe I will dedicate it to you?

As for wine drinking, didn't you know that every self-respecting South African would NEVER drink white wine in Winter? It's meant to be drunk with wild abandon on hot Summer days dear man! In Canada however, everybody drinks copious quantities of eggnog in Winter, but I'm still trying to figure out what they drink during the sweltering fortnight which is called "Summer" :-)

stonepost said...

Constance, welcome to my gang! You may call me "Spanky" and you'll find out later why! We are irreverent and irrelevant, but literate as hell and we throw a good party and invite the neighbors.

PAMO said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Constance Stanza Extravaganza Extraordinaire said...

Hmm...."SPANKY"????? The mind boggles.

I'm very glad to hear you are all irreverent, irrelevant, literate party goers though, Hi to all of you baaaaad, cool, wonderful new friends, let's party!!!

stonepost said...

Pamo this is all a true story, I swear!
Constance you need to begin a blog so we can dig into you a little deeper!

AutumnLeaves said...

I always take myself off Facebook. Well, I shouldn't say always. I have reactivated myself only once but then took myself off of there. There are just some things I don't need to know...

Barbra Joan said...

Ok, Spanky, (do we really want to know?) I think I am able to relate to all these kindred spirits .... Can I come to the party? I promise no trouble.... well maybe just a bit! and Facebook? again, far too much information for me!

stonepost said...

Barbra, you are more than invited, you will be the life of the party!
Doesn't anyone remember "Spanky and Our Gang"? am I that old?

Kay said...

I believe you carbon dated yourself with that Spanky reference..remember the cannibal? Yum yum eatum up! I do facebook..so far my friends haven't tried to sell me viagra. But they do all the time on yahoo! I love a good party..