Monday, January 17, 2011

My first real date...

     Here is a topic we could talk about.  Do you remember your very first date?  I do, in bits and pieces anyway.  We met at a play, a series of skits actually, high school kids being serious.  I was in one of the skits
and that is pretty foggy to me except I remember very well the make-up I had to wear.  A huge mass of gelatin something to resemble a scar on my face, oh and a pillow under my coat, I was the "Hunchback of Notre Dame"!  I don't even know what she was doing there, maybe lighting or costumes.  She had long black hair and just a little make-up to highlight her eyes, make her look interesting.  I don't remember if there were tryouts or even if we actually put this play to work in front of an audience.  I would go back there the next day just to see if she were there.
    One night after practicing whatever it was we were doing, it was a hot summer night, I remember that, I asked her if she wanted to go to the University with me, just to walk.  Maybe get some coffee.  "I'll go in costume, we will advertise this play!"  I remember saying that.  It was not far; it wasn't a long walk.  I hobbled beside her, hunched over like I supposed a good hunchback would do.  People, students I am sure, passed us by and gave us plenty of room!  I am sure it was quite a scene:  a hunchback with a huge scar on his face and the most beautiful girl in the world.  Seemed like that to me anyway.
     We came upon a group of students entering a building for some lecture on something and we followed them in.  Sat in the back row, me hunched over and she like my caretaker.  It was a riot and I was playing the fool, drooling and making weird noises.  You could smoke in those days, anywhere, right in a classroom if you wanted.  I remember lighting a cigarette and first puffing a couple times, then putting it out in this mass of jelly on my face!  I know how to impress dates!  It was funny when we left.  Well, funny and I was damned well frightened.  She was walking about ten paces ahead of me and I was chasing after her when four college kids came to her rescue.  They surrounded me and it seemed they would be happy to beat me up!  I told them we were just joking, having fun.  I told them about the skits we were doing.  I was frightened and talking pretty fast, "please tell them you know me" I pleaded!  "I have never seen him before in my life."
That is exactly what she said.
   Our real "first date" wasn't for another week and I remember it well.  My dad had an MG, a little black convertible with red leather upholstery and he let me borrow it.  It was dirty and dusty on the outside and I parked it right on the front lawn, just drove it over the concrete driveway and into the grass.  She came over early that day and we were going to wash it.  I remember writing "Miss 1966" in the dust on the car's side.
That was the year and she was laying across the back of the car like a beauty queen on a parade route. Actually throwing kisses!
     We washed the car and later went to a little pizza place on the campus.  I remember distinctly talking about sex.  I couldn't have said much because I didn't know much about it.  I am sure I lied.  What I do remember is we finished eating and it was a hot summer night and the top was down and we decided to drive through the downtown section before heading home.  Kids do that, want to be seen with a cool girl in a cool car.  So we are downtown and she is sitting next to me, not in her seat with a seat belt on, but on a pillow, right next to me.  We are laughing and being silly and mostly, she is right next to me!
     Somehow and I really don't understand this, the conversation turned to other girls, she thinking I am interested in all girls in a generic sense.  I am denying this of course with all of my heart.  "Oh, yeah," she says, "what about THAT ONE!" pointing to my far left way over on the sidewalk.  Well, like an idiot I turned to look.  No one was there and I crashed into the car ahead of me.  My first date and my first traffic accident and I am trying to kill this girl I so wanted to fall in love with!!!   It was a tiny car and the whole front end of it was smashed.  I didn't even notice that.  She had blood all over her face!  Her head smashed into the rearview mirror!   The car was sort of drivable in a wobbly way and I raced to the hospital, actually going maybe 70mph.  In the city.  I parked the car in the front lawn of the hospital and carried her into the emergency room.  I was shaking!  The doctors took over (three stitches was all but it looked much worse)
and I had to call her dad!  Then I called my dad!  His car was a total wreck.  Her dad took her home. My dad took me home in a taxi and the wrecker took the little black MG to the wrecking yard and that was my first real date!  We are still friends and I hope she gets a laugh out of this.

8 comments:

AutumnLeaves said...

Jerry, you are hysterical. I could see myself having a car accident on the first date! LOLOL I think my first real date was my senior year in high school. (I could be wrong but I think so...) My best friend at the time and her boyfriend, later husband, later ex-husband, set me up with the boyfriend's neighbor/friend down the street. We dated for 3 years, were engaged, and it all ended when he backed out of the engagement for the second time. Yes, he did ask me again and I said "no." He is the one who got me drinking coffee. Can't tell you how many times we'd go sit up at The Golden Bear, drink coffee, and pretend we were intellectuals discussing the world's plights. Now I know just how pseudo we were. LOLOLOL

Maundering mutterer said...

Mine was no fun at all. We went to the local agricultural show. He wanted to hold hands, his palms were slippery with sweat. Eeeeyew! I decided it wasn't his fault. Met his folks... um. I hate to sound like a snob but 'white trash' would fit. I decided that wasn't his fault either. Then one day, he poured petrol all over himself and set himself alight. Luckily, I wasn't there to see. I visited him in hospital a few times, and when he came out, I broke up with him. I must've been 15 at the time. I'm very glad I don't know him any more...

stonepost said...

Wow, Andrea, talk about Hot dates!
and Autumn Leaves, my friend, I told you we would have fun at this party!

Barbra Joan said...

"No dating til your 15"!!!! That was The Law. What!!!??? At 12 I already had them lined up and was meeting boys at the movie theater on Saturday afternoons. I mean what could they do with a girl with big brown eyes, wild hair that was their only child born under the sign of Scorpio.
One weekend with my best friend Frances at the hometown carnival, I met a boy who asked if he could take me out.. you know "a real date" .. I begged my parents. I was about 14. They finally conceded. I'll never forget the look on their faces as they saw their only daughter walk out door with this boy from Belleville NJ (bad a** town) with black pants, black motorcycle jacket , engineer boots , a Fonzie kinda guy and drive away in his fathers bread truck!!!! but he sang country western songs to me, and actually brought me home all in one piece!!! (my parents were probably at home lighting candles the whole time) I dated him for a while.. and then onto someone else... with a Harley!

Ruby said...

Oh my, oh my. What a journey back!

I was 15 and not allowed to date. A friend in my class was having a birthday party and her cousin had picked me out of the previous year's class picture. Would I go with him to the party. I knew I could not ask my mother because the answer would be a most emphatic 'no'; not on you life!
So.....my first lie! I asked if I could to the girl's party at her sister's house....that much was true, I left out the 'boy' part.
We met 'uptown' and walked to the party....the girl from my class and her cousin.
Whenever he tried to walk next to me I moved off the sidewalk onto the roadway.....I had never, ever walked next to a boy! My face was absolutely crimson.
At the party he asked me to dance....well, get that close to a boy! I don't know about this....have his arms around me....I though I would die on the spot.
How he ever survived the evening with this bumbling, backward, grossly shy girl I will never know. But survive he did and asked me to go swimming with him and his family the following Saturday.
And another lie ensued. I told my mother I had been invited by my girlfriend's family to go swimming and once again met the fellow 'uptown'.
We went swimming with his family and had a wonderful picnic. However, while away from home my mother contacted my girlfriend's mother to see when I might be home....and discovered the lie.
When I arrived home with the lad and his parents .... my home was wall-to-wall relatives. Ruby had lied!
Ho boy! There was my grandmother, my grandfather, four aunts, three uncles, some with spouses and my parents.
That was is .... grounded for the entire summer holidays. And I worked in a five and dime store....I was allowed exactly enough time to walk back and forth to work.
So....long story....the lad and I wrote letters to each other; he lived forty miles outside town. My mother would steam the letters open and read and reseal then give to me.
We did date and become engaged and finally broke and went our separate ways.
What a hysterical time of life .... don't want to go back there!

Barbra Joan said...

Omg ! Ruby love your dilemna !! ! I agree don't want to go back there again !

stonepost said...

that is so funny from a girl's point of view! I would go back there in a heartbeat! I was young and full of poetry and superman!

thomas said...

I have found, that, in order to try to know myself,and to reground myself,I must mentally go back and find out why things happened the way they did. I don't know whether it helped or not.